Thanks for sharing. I don't know how I could handle that either. I guess you need to figure out a way to let go, Not sure if that can be.
Darian Brown Posts: 712 Since: 2/5/2008
2/4/2009 10:36:19 AM
I think I am doing amazing considering how my life has changed. I still get up and work when I have work and when there is no work I network on those days. I always make time to help around the house so my wife and I can spend time with our son Darrin, whether it be playing games, watching a move or helping him with his home work. I'm so proud of Darrin because he still finds a way to get up every day and go to school and make the A/B honor role. He is still communicating with his friends and making new ones.
Will I ever be able to let it go? No, because every time I see my son Darrin upset because he misses his big brother or when he can't find his brothers shirt that he still sleeps with every night . It also gets to me when my wife is missing our son. It's just plain hard to watch the ones you love hurt so bad and all you can do is hold them.
As for me, I still have nightmares of that day. When I hear loud noise it takes me back to that day. If I hear emergency vehicles I go back to that day. If I see on the news that a child has been hurt in any way I go back to that day. Sometimes it's little things that send me back and sometimes it's big things that send me back like when I'm cooking dinner on the grill and watching the meat burn it takes me back to that day. When I go back to that day I see my son cooking in a car- the flesh is burning off him and I can't do anything but watch and it is so real even down to the smell of his flesh burning.
Can I let it go, no it's a part of me that I don't want and I would not wish on my worst enemies to endure.
Will I move on in this life? Yes but I will not forget my son nor will I leave him behind in this life. He will always be in my heart and on my mind. As I said before I take care of all my customers. Some want to know how I'm doing and some just can't talk about it and that's fine. I do what I have to. My new customers will never know this ever happened to me. Sometimes my new customers remember when they see the name Brown & Brown on my shirt and it kind of shocks me but I still handle myself in a professional way.
Anyway, thank you all for letting me share this with you.
PS. Thanks Stephen for taking the time to respond.
Last Edited 2/4/2009 10:38:52 AM
Edited by Admin 2/4/2009 7:07:45 PM
David Kern Posts: 518 Since: 2/20/2008
2/4/2009 12:43:42 PM
Strenghth beyond what is normal...
Darian and Tammy,
The pain you both must be experiencing- I truly believe no one can relate to. By sharing your thoughts and feelings with us, this provides those who genuinely care an opportunity to petition the most powerful personage in the universe (our Creator) to do what none of us living outside your pain could ever do.
Continue to rely on His strength...
Stephen Perrera Posts: 823 Since: 5/27/2008
2/4/2009 9:57:16 PM
Call me anytime you feel the need to.
Barry Carlton Posts: 162 Since: 6/30/2008
2/5/2009 4:17:14 PM
Somehow I don't think David was referring to you Stephen.